Narcissism

I am such a narcissist that it's not even funny.

I was up in the lab for 7 hours on Thursday (got back at 9:30 PM) and 5 hours on Friday and though it was incredibly boring to be filtering solutions for much of the time, I also found it very fulfilling to be reading real, published fiction (instead of fanfiction) that was written in a style meant to please (unlike "Monkey"). I also considered writing a whole story about myself where I would pretend to be all contemplative and shit, but I figured that might take too much time to write out. And I saw Pan's Labyrinth last night and loved not only the fact that the background of the movei was beautiful, but that I could understand almost all of the movie without the subtitles.

How is this narcissism? If you already figured that out, this part will be repetitive. Basically I'm being a narcissist in a non-sexual way. I am pampering myself, intellectually perhaps, more than I pamper anyone else. I spend more time thinking about how to make myself happy than about looking for someone else to find happy. I may check out people all the time, but I forget them as easily as I find them because they are most likely not like me. I find myself wanting someone who can understand all the jargon I throw around and understand (and perhaps join me as well) my obsessions with things like learning languages and Slavic people.

And this blog is another example of my narcissism, as if my life is the shit that everyone would want to read about (and that I can reread as many times as I want).